- I'm really sorry, man. I can't stand it anymore, I can't stand the pain. I have to leave... it's very difficult and hard for me to do this, but all this time I have been dealing with this pain which has almost brought me to my knees, and you mean so much to me. I don't want to hurt you...
- Yeah, though I bet banging your other friends during the times you were trying to stay away was enjoyable, too.
- How dare you speak of such bullshit?!
- How dare I?! Because it's true!
- Why are you being such an asshole?
- You goddamn cunt didn't leave me any other choice now, did you?
- I thought we could both act like adults...
- So did I. You disappointed me.
- You will always have a place in my heart.
- That's quite unfortunate, I'd have to say. I wish it weren't so. Anyway, get the fuck out of here. I don't really wanna see you around here anymore.
- This is very unfair!
- I'm glad to hear that. Mission accomplished! Now out, cunt!
F. FIRE
Now Playing: Rammstein - Spring
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Modelling...
Our lives go through phases, time periods of finite length, in which the general state of our mind, the general way we feel, are dominated by one or more states or ways, which are themselves the outputs reached by the analysis of the external, or internal, factors which have been received by the brain, and are affecting our lives.
Since some of these processes are started, affected and completed, by our actions, the decisions we make, they can be considered iterating systems.
It should be fairly convenient to assume that this concept is possible to be modelled by a dynamic system which may include feedback and iterating loops.
Since some of these processes are started, affected and completed, by our actions, the decisions we make, they can be considered iterating systems.
It should be fairly convenient to assume that this concept is possible to be modelled by a dynamic system which may include feedback and iterating loops.
Monday, December 26, 2005
The Conflict, Part I
People with a religious mind frame still suffer from the naive, lazy, and ancient misconception that: "the universe looks and feels extremely complex and accurately harmonized. Therefore, it cannot be explained and understood by the human mind, and a higher, more intelligent being should be in charge."
As if they have not been informed about the scientific discoveries of the past few centuries. Some could be excused considering that they have not had access to sources of information. But what can be said about the rest of them?
There are a few groups among these of people:
The conservative activists. They have a solid position regarding this matter, believe in creationism, and are usually unable to back it up by invalidating evolution in a proper manner.
The confused, and ordinary, pacificists. They probably wouldn't care either way, their lives doesn't depend on it (and yet it does), have not much scientifical knowledge regarding the subject, and basically do not care to familiarize themselves with the concept.
The confused, and intellectual, activists. They admit that the change exists, they believe in evolution, and yet, they believe the universe requires a designing brain of supreme intellectual power while they agree that many events and processes are jump-started by very simple and basic actions and reactions.
How can men of science, logic and rationality overlook such obvious paradox, make an irrational assumption, and proceed to prove something using the false assumption?
As if they have not been informed about the scientific discoveries of the past few centuries. Some could be excused considering that they have not had access to sources of information. But what can be said about the rest of them?
There are a few groups among these of people:
The conservative activists. They have a solid position regarding this matter, believe in creationism, and are usually unable to back it up by invalidating evolution in a proper manner.
The confused, and ordinary, pacificists. They probably wouldn't care either way, their lives doesn't depend on it (and yet it does), have not much scientifical knowledge regarding the subject, and basically do not care to familiarize themselves with the concept.
The confused, and intellectual, activists. They admit that the change exists, they believe in evolution, and yet, they believe the universe requires a designing brain of supreme intellectual power while they agree that many events and processes are jump-started by very simple and basic actions and reactions.
How can men of science, logic and rationality overlook such obvious paradox, make an irrational assumption, and proceed to prove something using the false assumption?
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Relationship
When an idea, or a concept, is told (in any way) to a person in a frequent way, and for a long enough period of time, the person will develop a deeper, stronger, interpretation of the subject, and therefore, will believe in it. The brain-washed fanatics of any type of ideology are a prime example of this matter. It also happens in less significant, and more personal cases. If a person hears, sees or reads that they are ugly every week, after a certain period of time, they will believe that they are ugly, no matter how fine and beautiful they look.
The brain evolves, and creates more connections, more paths, and [thus] more networks, within itself.
The reason we, as humans, are capable of learning, the truth behind our fascinating intelligence (which is not, and has never been, even close to perfection in any individual), is brains ability to create more connections, and possibilities, with the help of the already existing neural networks at the moment of starting the process (which may take as short as fractions of a second, and as long as years and decades). The nature of the factors affecting this progress determines the nature of the function of the created network.
It is fair to assume that the pattern for these processes can be also transferred to the infants by their parents, just like the other physical or neural characteristics which are received by the children through them. The level they have progressed to is different in any individual, just as the factors and causes affecting them are, which may result in a stop in the of progress of the networks in a group of individuals, and hence, oppressing the whole network.
This concept is quite easy to express through the language of Mathematics. A system performing the act of iteration (inputs to the system are its outputs) is a suitable choice for a model. However, the system itself is a web of similar systems, which is fed by the output of a similar group of networks. So, the iteration only happens in one direction.
The connections within each system, and the groups of networks, can be determined and modeled using fractal geometry.
NOTE: This is an extreme and specific (yet more obvious) example of the development of behaviour in every individual. It can be easily generalized to cover every naturally progressed neural network in the brain.
The brain evolves, and creates more connections, more paths, and [thus] more networks, within itself.
The reason we, as humans, are capable of learning, the truth behind our fascinating intelligence (which is not, and has never been, even close to perfection in any individual), is brains ability to create more connections, and possibilities, with the help of the already existing neural networks at the moment of starting the process (which may take as short as fractions of a second, and as long as years and decades). The nature of the factors affecting this progress determines the nature of the function of the created network.
It is fair to assume that the pattern for these processes can be also transferred to the infants by their parents, just like the other physical or neural characteristics which are received by the children through them. The level they have progressed to is different in any individual, just as the factors and causes affecting them are, which may result in a stop in the of progress of the networks in a group of individuals, and hence, oppressing the whole network.
This concept is quite easy to express through the language of Mathematics. A system performing the act of iteration (inputs to the system are its outputs) is a suitable choice for a model. However, the system itself is a web of similar systems, which is fed by the output of a similar group of networks. So, the iteration only happens in one direction.
The connections within each system, and the groups of networks, can be determined and modeled using fractal geometry.
NOTE: This is an extreme and specific (yet more obvious) example of the development of behaviour in every individual. It can be easily generalized to cover every naturally progressed neural network in the brain.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
The Body...
If you start at a body's surface, and cut and dig deeper and deeper, every little phenomenon and object that you encounter is going to be engaged in performing a materialistic behaviour, whether it is electrical, or chemical, or physical. It is fair to say that no matter how small these systems and elements are, they will still be demonstrating materialistic behaviour which can be quantified. How can another separate body of a different nature exist within this mixture of tightly bonded materialistic parts and systems? How can there be something which is nothing?
One way to look at this misconception about the human nature is to think of the brain as a center of command in the body's "system" (which it basically is). However, it is also reasonable to assume that this center is not keeping in touch with each and every part of body at any given moment. In other words, there are no electrical correspondences going on among the different neural networks connecting the brain with various body parts. It is more like they are in a standby mode. Most of the times, they are at normal state. The increase and decrease in the chemical concentration of the liquids around the neurons causes them to generate electrical signals, and transmit them through the neural networks. As long as the level of the chemicals are at a normal level, their state does not change. It is as if they do not exist.
Feeling the "soul" inside the body can be a natural step in the progression of the human brain. The weightlessness caused by the non-functioning (or malfunctioning) neural networks and connections, which could put the brain in a state of falsely experiencing a mindframe, can be a contributing factor in the development of spirituality and the belief in metaphysical forms, shapes and entities within, and outside the human body throughout the history.
NOTE: Parts of the brain are indeed constantly in "touch" with certain body parts (the parts responsible for subconscious activities within the body), but the main state of the brain does not consciously keep track of, or register, those activities at any given moment. Hence, it is as if they do not exist or happen.
One way to look at this misconception about the human nature is to think of the brain as a center of command in the body's "system" (which it basically is). However, it is also reasonable to assume that this center is not keeping in touch with each and every part of body at any given moment. In other words, there are no electrical correspondences going on among the different neural networks connecting the brain with various body parts. It is more like they are in a standby mode. Most of the times, they are at normal state. The increase and decrease in the chemical concentration of the liquids around the neurons causes them to generate electrical signals, and transmit them through the neural networks. As long as the level of the chemicals are at a normal level, their state does not change. It is as if they do not exist.
Feeling the "soul" inside the body can be a natural step in the progression of the human brain. The weightlessness caused by the non-functioning (or malfunctioning) neural networks and connections, which could put the brain in a state of falsely experiencing a mindframe, can be a contributing factor in the development of spirituality and the belief in metaphysical forms, shapes and entities within, and outside the human body throughout the history.
NOTE: Parts of the brain are indeed constantly in "touch" with certain body parts (the parts responsible for subconscious activities within the body), but the main state of the brain does not consciously keep track of, or register, those activities at any given moment. Hence, it is as if they do not exist or happen.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Solid Violence
When he fucked, he actually stayed true to the nature of the word, and delivered an act which truly showcased the appropriate level of aggression and anger which needs to be associated with the term, "fucking".
He fucked to destroy. He fucked to hate. He fucked for revenge. A decent sense of rationality was almost gone.
The longer he had been pushed around to chase women, the meaner he would fuck, eventually when he would get his hands on them. It'd become too addictive for them, so they would have a harder time whenever he told them off.
One of them actually found satisfaction in a rather bizarre way. She found herself growing fonder and fonder of watching him fuck other women with that type of aggression.
He fucked to destroy. He fucked to hate. He fucked for revenge. A decent sense of rationality was almost gone.
The longer he had been pushed around to chase women, the meaner he would fuck, eventually when he would get his hands on them. It'd become too addictive for them, so they would have a harder time whenever he told them off.
One of them actually found satisfaction in a rather bizarre way. She found herself growing fonder and fonder of watching him fuck other women with that type of aggression.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Facts...
Change causes motion and motion creates change. There is no system within which no change occurs or perfect stability is achieved.
Hence, a moving system cannot arrive, and stay at a eternally stable level, becoming a system in which the rate of change is zero. Only partial stability is possible.
Therefore, there cannot be any truth to the concepts related to the after life and "the world beyond" proposed by the religious and spiritual sources since, scientifically speaking, order and stability cannot be achieved for an infinite period of time in any part of the universe.
After stability fails, chaos takes over, creating a period of nothingness. The systems would be too sensitive to very negligible changes in the sets of factors influencing them, and thus, creating a frenzy of change and motion, with an extremely fast response to the smallest variation in the sets of the initial conditions. Too Many possibilities, the rate of creation and existence is close to zero.
Hence, a moving system cannot arrive, and stay at a eternally stable level, becoming a system in which the rate of change is zero. Only partial stability is possible.
Therefore, there cannot be any truth to the concepts related to the after life and "the world beyond" proposed by the religious and spiritual sources since, scientifically speaking, order and stability cannot be achieved for an infinite period of time in any part of the universe.
After stability fails, chaos takes over, creating a period of nothingness. The systems would be too sensitive to very negligible changes in the sets of factors influencing them, and thus, creating a frenzy of change and motion, with an extremely fast response to the smallest variation in the sets of the initial conditions. Too Many possibilities, the rate of creation and existence is close to zero.
However, a specific set of the initial conditions set is capable of randomly creating a partially stable state where further creation is possible.
Now playing: Windir - Journey To The EndThe equations...
The fear of loneliness has always driven humans towards joining different social (or political, cultural, ideological etc. The more specific types have been introduced in varying (increasing, to be exact) rates throughout the history.) groups of different scale and size. This kind of phobia, as any other type of phobia, changes from a minimal level to an extremely high one. Therefore, different people are afraid of being lonely on many different levels. One's fear level could be negligible, and the other's could be substantially dominant over the rest of his phobias. However, there could also be several other cases where the difference between the levels is essentially very small.
Generally, each individual's level has the potential of increasing (or decreasing) to another level if and only if it is influenced (or caused) to change by a new dominant set of changing factors. (A way to influence the neural progress)
This could all be represented by a ratio of two polynomials of degree, and order, n and m (where n is less than m). The coefficients of the n+m terms can be obtained by using a learning algorithm to estimate their accuracy. The bigger problem is the calculation of the exact values of n and m (in other words, finding the more dominant terms (i.e. characteristics) that influence the final value produced by the ratio on different crucial levels). This could be done by estimating these terms, and again, using a learning algorithm suitable for these terms and their own characteristics to correct and change the errors produced during the process.
It is necessary to apply some approximations while doing these calculations. However, respecting the extremely complex nature of each individual element should always be the first consideration.
Generally, each individual's level has the potential of increasing (or decreasing) to another level if and only if it is influenced (or caused) to change by a new dominant set of changing factors. (A way to influence the neural progress)
This could all be represented by a ratio of two polynomials of degree, and order, n and m (where n is less than m). The coefficients of the n+m terms can be obtained by using a learning algorithm to estimate their accuracy. The bigger problem is the calculation of the exact values of n and m (in other words, finding the more dominant terms (i.e. characteristics) that influence the final value produced by the ratio on different crucial levels). This could be done by estimating these terms, and again, using a learning algorithm suitable for these terms and their own characteristics to correct and change the errors produced during the process.
It is necessary to apply some approximations while doing these calculations. However, respecting the extremely complex nature of each individual element should always be the first consideration.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
More...
In order for a process to be logical, a certain pattern, or relationship (which would eventually cause the occurrence of a certain outcome) has to exist for a specific set of initial conditions. That is the more dominant system. However, a less dominant system is also at work with a highly chaotic rate of change, which has the capability of damaging the proficiency of the first system by creating more dominant outcomes (points of extrema) in a highly chaotic way with infinite possible values.
This is perfectly compatible with the idea of multiple variables in a system producing different values (which can become the valuable points of the fucntion, the points from where information about the behaviour of the function can be extracted) in a continuous way, spanning from negative infinity or positive infinity, based on the relationship among the multiple variables and their individual characteristics.
This is perfectly compatible with the idea of multiple variables in a system producing different values (which can become the valuable points of the fucntion, the points from where information about the behaviour of the function can be extracted) in a continuous way, spanning from negative infinity or positive infinity, based on the relationship among the multiple variables and their individual characteristics.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
“Perpetual Wild”
Stories told,
The veils are torn;
The innocence stains my hands.
The pain’s rise,
The fear divides;
The deep descend of a
Blazing edge…
Over the faceless skin.
The salty smell,
A crimson shade;
Painting the truth in me.
She’s lost,
And her silence sealed;
Into the ancient equilibrium,
Again, I fade.
F.FIRE May 6, 2003
The veils are torn;
The innocence stains my hands.
The pain’s rise,
The fear divides;
The deep descend of a
Blazing edge…
Over the faceless skin.
The salty smell,
A crimson shade;
Painting the truth in me.
She’s lost,
And her silence sealed;
Into the ancient equilibrium,
Again, I fade.
F.FIRE May 6, 2003
A dream
I had a strange dream a few nights ago.
It was a 'dream in a dream' situation, I was fully aware that I was dreaming in my dream. I was looking at a simulation of the earth surface's changes throughout the past 100 years or so, but the location and shape of the continents looked very different from what they could have looked like a century ago. And it was a virtual environment simulating the progress, more like a program or a software. Then, the bodies of water started taking over the lands, and suddenly, I was in the middle of the whole thing: extremely powerful streams of water creating monstrous turbulence which was dividing, dying or building more momentum and strength. It was a frightening situation, and before I was taken down by the water, my father woke me up in my sleep, and then I woke up in real.
It was quite intense. I enjoyed it.
It was a 'dream in a dream' situation, I was fully aware that I was dreaming in my dream. I was looking at a simulation of the earth surface's changes throughout the past 100 years or so, but the location and shape of the continents looked very different from what they could have looked like a century ago. And it was a virtual environment simulating the progress, more like a program or a software. Then, the bodies of water started taking over the lands, and suddenly, I was in the middle of the whole thing: extremely powerful streams of water creating monstrous turbulence which was dividing, dying or building more momentum and strength. It was a frightening situation, and before I was taken down by the water, my father woke me up in my sleep, and then I woke up in real.
It was quite intense. I enjoyed it.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Nature, and how it works
When the eye is at a certain distance from two different objects of any form, shape and size, there is a finite set of different interpretations (the length of the set is dependable on each individual's features, abilities (both physical and "mental") and structure), based on infinitely different angles and points of reference, or in other words, physicals constants of nature. This is a good example of how rules of nature change and alter the way the brain observes and understands the facts of nature.
It could be argued that certain, different groups of the infinite set result in finite groups of the smaller set, through the simple fact that a certain infinite group of the bigger set will most likely correspond to one single interpretation. The infinite structure creates of a very large finite set in mxn ways (n being the length of the infinite set, and m the size of the finite set produced). If this value is larger than a certain limit, or thershold, the set can be considered extremely large, with a behaviour close to the behaviour of an infinite set. It becomes hard to observe, analyze and understand each and every way, hence the lack of the ability to predict and manipulate some of these ways, and their outcomes, leads to a chaotic and dynamic behaviour.
Note on infinite groups and sets: These sets usually consist of infinite elements. The set can be categorized as a "set ranging from negative infinity to positive infinity" or vice versa, based on an infinite number of ways (technically, n - 1 ways, however, if n is very large, they are very close), as a result of containing infinite elements. The nature of these infinite sets create a large number of ways to simplify the rules and equations of nature.
This does not really leave much for proving how deterministic, formulatic, and very materialistic the human brain, this complex-looking piece of soft and gentle live tissue which has been a source for thousands of years of misery, suffering, brilliance, defiance, worship, and fascination throughout the history of the world, functions. One more fact to remember.
Now playing: Vivaldi - Sabat Mater/Salve Regina
It could be argued that certain, different groups of the infinite set result in finite groups of the smaller set, through the simple fact that a certain infinite group of the bigger set will most likely correspond to one single interpretation. The infinite structure creates of a very large finite set in mxn ways (n being the length of the infinite set, and m the size of the finite set produced). If this value is larger than a certain limit, or thershold, the set can be considered extremely large, with a behaviour close to the behaviour of an infinite set. It becomes hard to observe, analyze and understand each and every way, hence the lack of the ability to predict and manipulate some of these ways, and their outcomes, leads to a chaotic and dynamic behaviour.
Note on infinite groups and sets: These sets usually consist of infinite elements. The set can be categorized as a "set ranging from negative infinity to positive infinity" or vice versa, based on an infinite number of ways (technically, n - 1 ways, however, if n is very large, they are very close), as a result of containing infinite elements. The nature of these infinite sets create a large number of ways to simplify the rules and equations of nature.
This does not really leave much for proving how deterministic, formulatic, and very materialistic the human brain, this complex-looking piece of soft and gentle live tissue which has been a source for thousands of years of misery, suffering, brilliance, defiance, worship, and fascination throughout the history of the world, functions. One more fact to remember.
Now playing: Vivaldi - Sabat Mater/Salve Regina
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Quantification
Actions, choices, thoughts and behaviour are the pre-determined initial conditions in a dynamic network with a fractal structure. There are infinite scales, infinite possibilities for initial conditions (hence, completely random transfer methods), and infinite outcomes. This very system described is of a fractal nature, therefore, it repeats on infinite scales (scientifically, socially, universally, etc.).
Chaos and determinism create order. This is an equation set, or matrix, of differential equations of order n, in an nxn space. The irregulaity, i.e. order, produced is highly unstable. In other words, a slightly (used very loosely) change in the set of the initial conditions has the potential of creating a very large blow to the outcome. Hence, the chaotic nature of the order. This is also noticed in the nature of the exponentially-increasing mathematical functions. The concept of a function approaching negative infinity can be shown by a system driving towards its doom (total instability, pure chaos). A system starting off from total instability can be used to show the idea of a function approaching positive infinity. It could also be said that these two systems follow a periodic pattern, falling to doom, and rising from chaos. Or in the mathematical terms, exponentially increasing to both ends of the spectrum, with a period of one.
This function also holds true on infinite scales, creating another network of fractal structure. All these different scales produce infinite frames of reference, or infinite origins.
Chaos and determinism create order. This is an equation set, or matrix, of differential equations of order n, in an nxn space. The irregulaity, i.e. order, produced is highly unstable. In other words, a slightly (used very loosely) change in the set of the initial conditions has the potential of creating a very large blow to the outcome. Hence, the chaotic nature of the order. This is also noticed in the nature of the exponentially-increasing mathematical functions. The concept of a function approaching negative infinity can be shown by a system driving towards its doom (total instability, pure chaos). A system starting off from total instability can be used to show the idea of a function approaching positive infinity. It could also be said that these two systems follow a periodic pattern, falling to doom, and rising from chaos. Or in the mathematical terms, exponentially increasing to both ends of the spectrum, with a period of one.
This function also holds true on infinite scales, creating another network of fractal structure. All these different scales produce infinite frames of reference, or infinite origins.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Subject? SUBJECT?! I didn't think about that part.
If I were comfortable enough about myself, if my knowledge about myself was close to perfect, I could stop worrying about my "issues" and problems; I could play little attention to myself , and start to look at the other people around me.
I stepped aside and looked back inside. It was an interesting view, I might add. My curiosity started the investigations. That's how I liked to call them, and well, it was definitely a suitable term.
I'd study the personalities and the patterns in which they behaved. Quite a diverse set of information, a nice and neat combination of "initial conditions, the transfer function (or the pattern), and the outcome(s)".
It was a fulfilling exercise, and the skill was rather handy.
I stepped aside and looked back inside. It was an interesting view, I might add. My curiosity started the investigations. That's how I liked to call them, and well, it was definitely a suitable term.
I'd study the personalities and the patterns in which they behaved. Quite a diverse set of information, a nice and neat combination of "initial conditions, the transfer function (or the pattern), and the outcome(s)".
It was a fulfilling exercise, and the skill was rather handy.
***
Intensity is only felt in the presence of heat. Intensity flows, it creates motion and rhythm.
Magic is the art, and science, of understanding a large set of factors and causes, and predicting, or trying to influence, the outcomes and effects.
Some of us have grown so tolerable of irrational behaviour among pets, the "home" animals. Yet sometimes, our responses and reactions towards fellow humans show a complete lack of sympathy for irrationality within the race of intelligent animals.
- The girl in this novel seriously reminds me of you. I mean, I could totally imagine you doing all those things. Pretty crazy!
He knew how to make me feel comfortable by acting so knowledgable of me. I can't say I have ever experienced anything like it. He knew me so well that he didn't have to impress me. He didn't have to risk anything. Well, maybe he did, but not if he didn't feel confident about it. He knew which buttons to push, which strings to pull. Yet I felt so free and weightless in his presence.
I put behind the unnecessary hostility, and direct my anger towards the true causes and origins, which have always laid deep within man's simplest, most basic feelings, desires and needs.
We always expect other people around us to be perfect. We influence and manipulate others, because we believe we have the power to do so, even though, we're on a lower level on the "perfection curve".
Metal: A Headbanger's Journey
I saw this movie last night. It was one of the best documentaries I have ever seen. But then, I can't say I have seen that many movies from this genre, so that might sound a bit ignorant.
It was very well-made, each and every interview was almost a classic, it covered many areas, and the fact that almost all the musicians (probably except the guys in Slipknot and Korn) sounded quite intelligent was rather refreshing. I also loved Dio's shot at Gene Simmons. Right on, Ron!
If you like arts, try to find a chance to see the movie. Even non-metal fans should enjoy it.
It's also put me in a mode to listen to lots of metal. I wanted to listen to Emperor's In The Nightside Eclipse, at first, but then decided to listen to something I hadn't listened to in a long time. So, I picked Sepultura's Arise.
Man, those ad's before the start of the movie were fucking hilarious.
It was very well-made, each and every interview was almost a classic, it covered many areas, and the fact that almost all the musicians (probably except the guys in Slipknot and Korn) sounded quite intelligent was rather refreshing. I also loved Dio's shot at Gene Simmons. Right on, Ron!
If you like arts, try to find a chance to see the movie. Even non-metal fans should enjoy it.
It's also put me in a mode to listen to lots of metal. I wanted to listen to Emperor's In The Nightside Eclipse, at first, but then decided to listen to something I hadn't listened to in a long time. So, I picked Sepultura's Arise.
Man, those ad's before the start of the movie were fucking hilarious.
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